- Aries:a reality check
- Taurus:a line of coke and a karaoke machine
- Gemini:a slap and a mood stabilizer
- Cancer:a box of tissues and a block of chocolate
- Leo:a room without mirrors
- Virgo:a xanax
- Libra:a backbone
- Scorpio:to be escorted into hell
- Sagittarius:a joint
- Capricorn:to sit still
- Aquarius:to fucking listen
- Pisces:nothing you're a fucking joy
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